i was dogsitting my sister's doberman for the afternoon. my cell phone died; i lost my regular phone charger so i had to use my car's cig lighter-phone-charger. my stupid kitchen door doesn't close properly unless you slam it, and next thing I know the dog poked its head through and escaped the house. he then trotted around the block.
i felt completely helpless chasing it in my wheelchair. I couldn't catch up. As soon as I got close, it would trot away. The dog didn't have a leash on cuz we were inside all day. Even if I could hold it, there was no way I could carry it back. It was impossible. I had no cell phone, no leash, no food on me, nothing. helpless.
thoughts raced through my mind like
- why do i have to be in a damn chair - i can't keep up with him! if i could run this wouldn't be a problem. i'm paralyzed from being useful.
- even if i did catch him how can i bring him back home? my chair will get in the way.
- i have no way to call anyone for help! not even the police!
- what if he runs towards traffic???
- how will i tell the news to my sister? it will break her heart!
- oh God help me!!!
my instinct told me to ask people for help. i pleaded for help to a lady watching the dog in admiration, "oh what a nice dog!" "please help me! the dog ran away and I have no way to catch it!" my heart sank as the dog turned towards the busy street. Thank God it turned around on its own (God's help) and ran towards the neighborhood walking path instead. (There would have been no way to protect it from the traffic).
I continued to chase the dog up the path. i was furiously pushing my rims, making great speed but not enough to catch the dog. next thing i know the lady shows up on her bike with some dog food in her hand!!! instantly my dog responds to her, going straight for the dog food. we then hold onto the dog. she comes back with a leash and walks the dog back to my house.
THANK GOD FOR GOOD NEIGHBORS!
i learned quite a bit from today's strenous experience.
Have faith in God and in others.
Because of my shortcomings, I must be extra-prepared.
I am not physically able to be a hero. Therefore, I must be willing to call on others to be a hero for me.
feeling utterly helpless was terrible, terrible, terrible. it was like watching a disaster unfold right in front of your eyes. i don't want any one of you to go through that. i hope you can learn something from this too, cuz heaven knows i don't want anyone else to experience what i did today.
one thought that i must conclude with is this:
i felt helpless, but never hopeless.
it is this hope that kept me rolling at full speed chasing after the dog that i had no idea how i'd capture it and bring it back. this hope kept me going when all reason said there was no chance. hope is blind. it must be. i know i will feel helpless in the future, as much as i'd like to think that it won't happen, but i'm sure it will, and how even writing this makes me cringe of what's to come. but i will latch on to that hope, cling to it for dear life. and that will save me.
now i can understand what faith + hope mean.
to everyone out there, hold on to that hope. have faith. and love love love!
